I Would Miss You
by Elven Jedi X
Summary: This story is one of those rare occassions where Quistis falls in love with someone OTHER than Seifer, I'm not telling you any more ^_^ You'll have to read on and find out!


Disclaimer: I do NOT own Final Fantasy or any of the characters… Now that's over with… please continue and read… OH! Don't forget to tell me what you think ^_^

I Would Miss You

It had been almost eight months since Squall and his SeeD team had saved the world from Time Compression and the Sorceress threat. Things had changed greatly and Balamb Garden was very different.

Squall had become Tactical Commander and Cid remained Headmaster. Edea had come to live at the Garden with her husband, Cid and help to run it with him. Seifer wandered around Garden as the Chief Disciplinary Officer, all security in the Garden was observed by him, Fujin and Raijin by his side, of course.

As for the rest, well, Rinoa was a nurse in the infirmary when she wasn't hanging all over Squall and whispering suggestions about every little thing he should do, it was only a matter of time until Squall would ask her the big question. Irvine was a SeeD now and the Garden's best sharpshooter. Selphie had taken up the position as full-time decorator and entertainer. Irvine and Selphie had married three months after the world was saved, and four weeks after that it was discovered that Selphie was pregnant with twins. Zell, believe it or not, had become a hand-to-hand combat instructor as well as a part time volunteer in the Cafeteria, it seemed that his only love was hotdogs. Quistis… well… Quistis had become an Instructor again and the best instructor at the Garden as well.

Still, she was not happy, far from it, in fact. She had fallen into a secret depression that was as deep and dark as a world gone through Time Compression. In public, she was cheery enough. She taught her class to the best of her ability and she would occasionally spend time with her friends.

In the last few months she did not go to the lounge to talk with her friends, though. Now, she rushed from her last class of the day and went straight to her dorm. When Trepies passed her and attempted to swoon over her she only nodded and faked a smile while walking right past them.

Today was no different. The bell rang and Quistis was just as relieved to be free as the students were. "Class, be sure to study for the exam on Wednesday. I want your papers on 'Why I want to be a SeeD' turned into to me on Monday no later than five o'clock… dismissed."

She said these things automatically and with no feeling whatsoever. The class rushed out the door. She gathered her papers and switched the lights off as she walked through the door. Once on the other side she typed a code into the door module that locked it. She sighed heavily and walked as quickly as she could towards her room.

The reason Quistis Trepe always rushed to her room was the simple freedom of letting go. Letting go of all the pain she held inside her throughout the day. For five months straight now she had cried herself to sleep.

Quistis had hoped that her dreams would hold a security for her, a place where reality was not as harsh. She thought that perhaps there, in her dreams, she would be able to kiss Squall, or even have someone, anyone, in the world that cared about her.

No, not even her dreams were kind to her. Her dreams became nightmares very quickly and she found herself never sleeping, only watching. She watched couples hold hands and she watched people stop and flirt with each other just for fun. If she attempted such a thing she would be told to "Talk to a wall" or something else equally dreadful.

She had known none of these things, yet yearned for all of them. Even her adoptive family had been cruel to her. Her adoptive father was a political man and thought it would look good if he adopted some poor parentless child. Her parents never really loved her. Granted, that her mother did try to stop her father from coming into Quistis' room at night, but she too received a sound beating not to mention other certain horrors…

She couldn't dwell on such things… her childhood ended when Headmaster Cid found her on the streets and took her in. Only then was it realized that she was smarter than the other children of her age, a lot smarter, in fact. She could always do complex equations in her head, but she never cared enough. She had even lost her chance to become a well-respected scientist.

Now, she had nothing… well… she did have her friends, but they didn't know her, not really. Quistis exhaled sharply trying to relieve at least SOME of the stress that mounted on her shoulders continually every ten minutes. 

She entered her dorm and walked over to the window seal. She sat down curling her feet up to her chest and resting her head on her knees while gazing out the window solemnly. Her expression was dark and turned even darker when, after almost an hour of staring into nothingness and consistently crying softly, she spotted Squall and Rinoa walking hand in hand outside the Garden.

The couple stopped and Squall got down on one knee. Quistis' heart stopped and she couldn't breathe. Squall reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box the color of Rinoa's cardigan, light sky blue. She saw Rinoa jump for joy and wrap her arms around Squall quickly kissing him. Squall stood and embraced her smiling, he was actually smiling and it made Quistis' heart break even further at the fact that she had not been the one to bring that out in him.

Slowly, Quistis brought her hand up to the window and touched the cool glass gently at first, but brought her hand into a fist and pounded against her window frame. How could he? Just a week earlier Quistis had gone to Squall and done the horribly stupid act of telling Squall her true feelings. He told her to go screw a wall and leave him alone. She had been devastated and still was… now this… Her pain just seemed to meld together into a gigantic void.

She began to sob, rather violently, and fell forward slowly, unable to breathe she was sobbing so hard. She fell to the ground shaking and unable to move. She took a few deep breaths and managed to stand on shaking legs. Then calmed her self enough to slow the tears, but not stop them. They had become a part of her; two parts of sadness came together to form utter sorrow.

Now standing, Quistis shakily made her way to the door and leaned up against its frame. She looked out as far as she could and just started running, very quickly towards the Training Center. She was going to fix her problem and make everyone much happier.

Unfortunately, Quistis bumped head on into Seifer nearly knocking them both over. He looked at her questioningly and put the look in his eyes to words. "Where you goin' so late after curfew?" He asked.

"Nowhere, now let me by." Quistis snapped, getting impatient.

"Come on Instructor, you're crying, which is something you never do in public, and you didn't even scold me for being out past curfew, I scolded you. Something big is wrong now tell me what." Seifer demanded crossing his arms and making it impossible for Quistis to say 'no'.

So, she told him. She told everything, from her depression, to what Squall had said after she confessed her love, to Squall's engagement. When she finally finished Seifer looked down at her with that wicked grin of his.

"I see the answer to your problem."

"Really?" Quistis asked desperately.

"Yeah, what was it Squall once said… oh yeah, you should go screw that wall. Maybe then you can go and get that alcohol overdose we all know you're due for. Then when you are departed from this cruel world we can all rest a little easier knowing that Quistis Trepe is no longer a threat to us all."

Quistis felt more tears roll down her cheek and Seifer's grin became wider at the sight of that cold liquid rolling down her face. She thought she had found someone to confide in, someone to trust. Could she not even confide in anyone? She turned abruptly to run off and finish what she had run off to do, but she suddenly stopped turned back towards Seifer.

"Back for more bashing, I got plenty mor-" He taunted with great pleasure that suddenly morphed into great pain.

Before he even knew what hit him, Seifer was on his back on the floor with bloody nose and a very upset Quistis running away towards the Training Center. Her fists were clenched and Seifer let out a low laugh as he watched her storm away, from the floor, of course.

Quistis moved towards the Training Center and wiped her tears away as much as possible. She ran through the hall and appeared at the gates pushing them open as quickly and carelessly as she could manage.

As she ran through the jungle-like environment and shot right through several deadly monsters without another care she bumped directly into someone wiping the sweat from their forehead away with a blue towel. He was startled and surprised when he looked up. For it was Zell in the Training Center at his usual hour practicing some boxing steps. He was allowed to use the training center after curfew only because he was a martial arts instructor.

"Hey, Quisty, where ya goin'?" He asked, but Quistis didn't even stop she just kept running. "Quisty? You okay?" He called after her with receiving no response.

Quistis ran and ran until her feet were sore. She had not run this fast for quite some time and took its toll on her, but, of course, that was what she wanted. She finally slowed when she approached her destination, the 'Secret Area'. She slipped through the opening and stopped breathing very heavily.

Almost immediately she made her way to the edge of the steel rail taking her steps sluggishly almost as if she had 'Slow' or 'Stop' cast on her. Once at the edge she gripped the rail firmly and gazed out over the grounds before her as if in a trance. Below was a steep cliff that shot straight down for about eight hundred feet. At the base of the cliff was a forest dense with creatures and beasts.

She gazed out over the rail for several moments until her deep breaths caught in her throat. Her lip quivered and her tears came more rapidly. She lifted her hand in the air and slammed the palm of her hand down against the steel rail.

"WHY DAMMIT, WHY!" She shouted ignoring the throbbing pain in her hand, and concentrating solely on the much more unbearable pain in her heart. Quistis rolled her head back feeling unable to hold it up any longer and let out a few quick sobs before slowly raising her head again.

As if in a trance again she gazed back out over the Garden before her. She sighed deeply and without thinking she placed one booted foot over the first level (there are two levels) of the rail. The other foot followed without hesitation, meanwhile her hands never left the rail. She then placed one foot and then the other on the top level of the railing slowly released her tight grip of the cold steel. Rising slowly she took one last look at the world and closed her eyes just a form came through the small opening to the 'Secret Area'.

"Hey, Quisty! Are you alright? 'Cause you seemed really upset and I was wondering if I could help out with anything… Quisty…? Quisty!" It was Zell. He shouted to her not five feet away. When he caught sight of her he gasped and lunged forward just and she fell forward, her arms outstretched in a bird-like manor. She fell, plummeting down the cliff.

Zell shot after her, leaping over the railing without a moments hesitation. When he too found himself sprawling towards the ground he quickly straightened himself into a torpedo position so that he would fall faster. He caught up with Quistis within a few seconds and the ground came closer with each of those seconds. 

Zell wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled them both into upright positions so that they were falling feet first instead of the other way around. At first she didn't seem to notice him until her eyes shot open and she looked over at him. 

"What the HELL are you doing, you're going to die!" She tried desperately to push him away, but he held her too tightly.

"I ain't dyin' yet and neither are you!" He shouted back quickly calling on Diablos.

The seconds passed and the rocky floor came dangerously close. Just as they were only fifty feet away from death Diablos appeared above them and quickly assessed the situation diving after them both and grabbing them within a mere eight feet of the floor below. The GF set them down gently and disappeared.

Quistis punched and kicked at Zell forcing him to relinquish his hold of her. "What the HELL were you thinking, or were you not thinking at all? You couldn't have died! And now I have to climb all the way back up to the top, thank you for making a very awful day much worse." She tried to storm away, but Zell reached out for her hand and clenched it tightly pulling her towards him.

"Let me GO DAMMIT!" She screamed, trying to run away again.

"Hey, look at me! Quisty, LOOK at me!" He pulled at her and grabbed both wrists forcing her to stare him in the eye. "Why were you up there?"

"None of your damn business!"

"Quisty, look, I'm your friend. I deserve to know that if I had just gone to my room and slept I would have gotten up in the morning and heard that my good friend had just died. Now, I want answers." He stared at her with a deep concern in his eyes.

"I… I told Squall that I was in love with him… and he told me to go screw a wall and leave him alone… now he's getting married…" Quistis sobbed and spoke through shallow breaths, "I don't think it's so much that, but I'm… I've… I haven't been on a date for five years, and I just drag myself through life everyday… Everyone else is able to go through life and just find love and find happiness and sail… but I'm never able to do that… I have to be the strong one and the smart one and always the adult, I never had a chance to be young… I got to thinking one day that I should just die, and then I thought about the people who would miss me, and I couldn't think of anyone… No one would miss me… No one would cry at my funeral and my grave would say 'Quistis Trepe devoted instructor and loving friend'… Not 'loved friend' or 'beloved wife' but just 'loving'… I always give and give to every one, but I never find anyone who is willing to give to me, WHY?" She broke down shaking with sobs and fell to her knees. 

Zell didn't try to hold her up he just gently led her to the ground and followed doing the same himself. Now both were kneeling and Quistis hung her head down.

"Oh, Hyne. Hyne, Quistis! God, if I'd known you felt that way I would've told you. Oh, Hyne I would have told you sooner." Zell said finally releasing his hold of Quistis.

"Told me what?" She asked slowly raising her head.

"Well…, Squall's a good leader, but as a person I think he sucks… and… I… I… would miss you." Zell said lowering his head and suddenly becoming much more serious, "I do miss you, I miss you're rare smile that has recently become extinct. I miss your very presence and your laugh that I never hear anymore 'cause you lock yourself in your room every time I try to see you. I thought you didn't want to speak to me, but now I know. Now I understand. Oh God, Quistis, you could've come to me. I wish you had, then I could've told you."

"Tell me… please, I know, but I need to hear it, …please?" She said, her tears had stopped and her eyes searched Zell's for the answer she had yearned to hear for so very long.

Zell hesitated for some time, but eventually gazed back at Quistis and said, "… I… I love you!" Quistis threw her head back and began to cry again, "Are you okay?" Zell asked.

"Yes, I always knew it. I knew I loved someone from the orphanage and I thought it was Squall, but… it was you. The GF's made it difficult for me to remember. Oh Hyne, it was you!" Quistis said

She collapsed in Zell's arms and he held her. That feeling of comfort that she thought she would never know suddenly washed over her in a warm wave. They knelt together and held each other. That simple act spoke more about their feelings than any amount of sweet talk or jabber could ever hope to achieve. Zell stroked her hair and she slipped one arm around his waist and the other up over his shoulder. That moment of peace seemed to last forever and was compromised only by the sweet kiss the 'couple' exchanged.

So, Quistis found true love in Zell. The seemingly 'odd couple' married two months later. They lived at the Garden and taught their classes. Quistis no longer ran to her room anymore, she ran into Zell's 'loving' embrace.


End file.
